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Five great British money taboos

Serena Cowdy examines five money taboos that get us Brits hot under the collar!

1. Group outings and splitting the bill

I’ve always been less affluent than my mates - something to do with them being lawyers and bankers and me being a journalist, apparently! And that means splitting the bill has the potential to be a sensitive issue.

You usually know where you stand with close friends (mine are great - always working out my share based on exactly what I had, and splitting the rest amongst themselves).

However, when it’s more casual acquaintances, it can get tricky. I recently went to a meal out where, after carefully ordering a cheap main, I found that the rich bloke next to me had ordered the two priciest courses on the menu plus hugely expensive wine. He then split the bill equally.

I was meeting most of these people for the first time, and I must admit I kept my mouth shut and paid up. What would you have done?

2. First dates - feminism v. your bank balance

If you’re a bloke - would you expect to pay the bill on a first date? And if you’re a woman - would you want him to?

Apparently, it can get particularly awkward for men on the online dating scene, because - by the nature of it - you can end up going on several ‘first dates’ a month.

A male friend of mine told me he got a nasty shock when he realised most of these women didn’t even offer to pay half. He reckons this is because he was wore a suit, so they assumed he was loaded (he’s not).

I suppose my compromise solution is a bit wimpy: Always offer to pay half, but (particularly if he earns far more than you) don’t press the issue if he wants to foot the bill.

Right or wrong? When money walks in the door, does feminism climb out the window?

3. Tipping traumas

The issue of tipping seems to spawn financial etiquette blunders all over the world. This excellent article will help you find your tipping feet everywhere from Germany to Japan.

In the UK, most awkward moments seem to occur when we feel pressurised into paying ‘optional’ tips that we feel are undeserved… and that don’t seem very optional.

We compare some of the big food brands with supermarket own brands to see which tastes best!

A couple of months ago, a waitress that served my friends was rude and aggressive. When we received the bill, a 12.5% ‘discretionary’ service charge had already been added.

We decided to pay a 10% tip (mainly because we were too scared to pay nothing at all) and calculated the bill accordingly. Straight away, the waitress pointed out that we must have made a mistake, because we hadn’t paid enough.

Frankly, I hate confrontation - and though we stuck to our guns and refused to pay the full tip - the argument that followed left me feeling really shaken.

When it comes to complaining about poor service, are you a mouse like me or a lion that roars?

4. How much do you earn?

I was pretty annoying as a child. I was always asking adults awkward questions, like ‘is that man your boyfriend?’ and ‘why is the sea blue when the water in the tap isn’t?’.

Another one was ‘are you rich?’. I still ask all the other awkward questions, but I learnt that this last one was pretty much a no-go area.

Most Brits seem to hate people finding out (or even worse asking) how much they earn. That stance is fine if you’re dealing with a stranger, or even a friend. Unfortunately however, this reticence seems to stretch to partners as well.

A recent survey showed that 63% of Brits aren’t happy to discuss their earnings with friends or family. When you enter into a marriage or partnership with someone, their financial situation can profoundly affect yours and your credit rating, so I think you have every right to know where they stand.

Have you disclosed all your financial arrangements to your partner? If not, why not?

5. Lending money to friends… and getting it back

The final taboo on my list reflects many Brits’ reluctance to make a scene or have any ‘unpleasantness’. It seems that, as is often said, money and friendship don’t mix.

I once lent some money to a mate, and he never paid me back. Eventually I got really angry, not because of the amount (which was fairly small) but because I so hated the thought of having to ask him for it.

He knew me well, and he must have known I’d find that difficult and hugely embarrassing. I was just livid he’d put me in that position.

Have you chased a mate for repayment, or avoided the issue and given him or her up as a bad job?

Leave a comment and tell us about your money hang-ups… if you can bear to talk about them, of course!

More: Avoid these restaurant rip-offs | Don’t let a partner ruin your credit rating

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Comments



  • 11 December 2010

    Online dating - rather than paying a stranger to eat and watch a movie with you, simply visit an escort who for the same money will do the desired outcome.

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  • 27 November 2010

    for no 3: I've worked in places with added tips. If service was bad, do not be afraid to ask for the manager and tell him/her you do not want to pay tips. You have this right and no one can deny you it.

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  • 19 November 2010

    1. Splitting the bill? If everyone has eaten about the same, we'll not whip out the calculator. If some people ate much more expensive foods, it's only normal if we estimate how much does everyone pay. Normally when we go out with friends, everybody eats almost the same, so we just split equally. 2. First date etiquette? Best solution is, a lady should be expecting to go Dutch. And I, if I feel like this, could offer her to forget about it - and foot the bill - but [b]could [/b]does not mean [b]will, [/b]so could NOT offer. 3. Tipping? I HATE IT. This is idiotic custom and should be abolished (Go Japan). I think that comes from times when staff was relying on tips customers leave, because they were not paid anything so they would serve people better. Nowadays there is such thing as minimum wage. I don't want to hear porkies about the "impoverished waiters", waiters should refuse to work for anything less than minimum, everywhere. Usually you pay more than enough for the service already to start with. Restaurants are not cheap. Taxis are not cheap. Why should it cost me more than it costs? Only so that server will line his pocket? How about someone lines mine. Until then, give me the proper bill and I will properly pay it. This is stupid American etiquette, tips here and tips there. Heck they even add VAT on the till... you took $2 and $3 goods, and they ask you for $6 instead of $5. This is just a way to diddle the prices to make you believe you pay less. No, I like our way -- show me the price and I will pay it, [b]don't you DARE[/b] to add hidden charges and deceive me. 4. Asking about salary? Idle chit-chat, no thanks. "Less than I should, probably", "OK", "Hardly enough". With colleagues to ensure we are not being screwed with, perfectly good topic to discuss, encourages to go to the boss and rant about/ask for a raise. 5. Lending to friends? In Britain, where personal loans are readily available on tap, it's ridiculous. Why should I lend someone money that could've been earning interest in my account without risk to not come back to me? In other countries, other ages, e.g. Soviet Russia, where there was no credit available, I would understand why people asked to borrow. Even then, it never made me any good (I mean serious money, not £5 till tomorrow). Best experience was a person repaying his debt to me after 3 years. Worst was just smiling and referring to lack of money. If they have no money already despite working, you surely should suggest money management trouble... And, [b]never lend to friends[/b]. You'll lose both your friend and your money. Very true.

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