Five great British money taboos

Serena Cowdy examines five money taboos that get us Brits hot under the collar!

1. Group outings and splitting the bill

I’ve always been less affluent than my mates - something to do with them being lawyers and bankers and me being a journalist, apparently! And that means splitting the bill has the potential to be a sensitive issue.

You usually know where you stand with close friends (mine are great - always working out my share based on exactly what I had, and splitting the rest amongst themselves).

However, when it’s more casual acquaintances, it can get tricky. I recently went to a meal out where, after carefully ordering a cheap main, I found that the rich bloke next to me had ordered the two priciest courses on the menu plus hugely expensive wine. He then split the bill equally.

I was meeting most of these people for the first time, and I must admit I kept my mouth shut and paid up. What would you have done?

2. First dates - feminism v. your bank balance

If you’re a bloke - would you expect to pay the bill on a first date? And if you’re a woman - would you want him to?

Apparently, it can get particularly awkward for men on the online dating scene, because - by the nature of it - you can end up going on several ‘first dates’ a month.

A male friend of mine told me he got a nasty shock when he realised most of these women didn’t even offer to pay half. He reckons this is because he was wore a suit, so they assumed he was loaded (he’s not).

I suppose my compromise solution is a bit wimpy: Always offer to pay half, but (particularly if he earns far more than you) don’t press the issue if he wants to foot the bill.

Right or wrong? When money walks in the door, does feminism climb out the window?

3. Tipping traumas

The issue of tipping seems to spawn financial etiquette blunders all over the world. This excellent article will help you find your tipping feet everywhere from Germany to Japan.

In the UK, most awkward moments seem to occur when we feel pressurised into paying ‘optional’ tips that we feel are undeserved… and that don’t seem very optional.

A couple of months ago, a waitress that served my friends was rude and aggressive. When we received the bill, a 12.5% ‘discretionary’ service charge had already been added.

We decided to pay a 10% tip (mainly because we were too scared to pay nothing at all) and calculated the bill accordingly. Straight away, the waitress pointed out that we must have made a mistake, because we hadn’t paid enough.

Frankly, I hate confrontation - and though we stuck to our guns and refused to pay the full tip - the argument that followed left me feeling really shaken.

When it comes to complaining about poor service, are you a mouse like me or a lion that roars?

4. How much do you earn?

I was pretty annoying as a child. I was always asking adults awkward questions, like ‘is that man your boyfriend?’ and ‘why is the sea blue when the water in the tap isn’t?’.

Another one was ‘are you rich?’. I still ask all the other awkward questions, but I learnt that this last one was pretty much a no-go area.

Most Brits seem to hate people finding out (or even worse asking) how much they earn. That stance is fine if you’re dealing with a stranger, or even a friend. Unfortunately however, this reticence seems to stretch to partners as well.

A recent survey showed that 63% of Brits aren’t happy to discuss their earnings with friends or family. When you enter into a marriage or partnership with someone, their financial situation can profoundly affect yours and your credit rating, so I think you have every right to know where they stand.

Have you disclosed all your financial arrangements to your partner? If not, why not?

5. Lending money to friends… and getting it back

The final taboo on my list reflects many Brits’ reluctance to make a scene or have any ‘unpleasantness’. It seems that, as is often said, money and friendship don’t mix.

I once lent some money to a mate, and he never paid me back. Eventually I got really angry, not because of the amount (which was fairly small) but because I so hated the thought of having to ask him for it.

He knew me well, and he must have known I’d find that difficult and hugely embarrassing. I was just livid he’d put me in that position.

Have you chased a mate for repayment, or avoided the issue and given him or her up as a bad job?

Leave a comment and tell us about your money hang-ups… if you can bear to talk about them, of course!

More: Avoid these restaurant rip-offs | Don’t let a partner ruin your credit rating