Is the world ready for a Cockney cash machine?

by John Fitzsimons on 21 August 2009  |  5 comments
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Five cash machines in East London now present your options in rhyming slang. Are they having a bubble?

I've always been very proud of my East End heritage. Ok, so I don't count as a fully blown Cockney (as Barking is outside the Bow Bells boundary), but all the same, East London is in my blood.

So I was more than a little intrigued when I received a press release today from Bank Machine, an independent ATM operator, which has launched a new initiative in the area.

For three months from Monday, you will be able to get your prompts and options in 'Cockney language' at five ATMS in 'the East London area'.

 As the press release notes, you'll be invited to enter your Huckleberry Flynn (As opposed to the book Huckleberry Finn presumably), and select just how much sausage and mash (cash) you fancy. The machine will then advise that it is contacting your Rattle and Tank (bank ) for approval.

I particularly like this quote from Ron Delnevo, the managing director of Bank Machine: "Whilst we expect some residents will visit the machine to just have a butchers (look), most will be genuinely pleased as this is the first time a financial services provider will have recognised the cockney language in such a manner."

Absolutely right, I have no doubt the residents of Walthamstow have been moaning for some time that the HSBC branch down the road doesn't ask them whether they want a score instead of the £20 option.

I know this is just a bit of fun, but it would be a start if they at least got the geography right. One of the ATMs is in Barnet for goodness sake - that's about as north as North London gets!

People take long enough getting their money out. Can you imagine how frustrated you'd get stood behind some plonker taking an age to translate the mockney terms on the screen? And why limit it just to Cockney terms - why not a scouse version, or even a Scottish one?

Personally I won't be rushing down there to use it, but if it sounds like your cup of Rosie, the  ATMs with the Cockney option can be found at:  

• Murco Service Station, Hatch Lane, Chingford, London, E4 6LP
• 447 Roman Road, London, E3 5LX
• 73 Commercial Street, London, E1 6BD
• 24 High Street, Walthamstow, London E17 7LD
• 197 Mays Lane, Barnet, EN5 2DY